Yesterday I woke up in a world I did not recognize, and it felt awful.
My husband and I have decided many months ago not to get cable TV at our house, so of course we did not have a watch party for the election. Instead, we hugged real tight, prayed for the best, and went to sleep. When I woke up on Wednesday, the first thing I did was check my phone to find out who was our new President.
I will preface by saying I did not like any of our 4 candidates. I researched extensively about each one of them, their policies, their pasts. I knew I was going to be disappointed no matter what, but I did not foresee my reaction to the news.
I cried. I mean big tears, full-sobbing cried. I panicked. I had this awful feeling in my stomach all day and all night, as if someone was punching me in guts repeatedly. I mourned. I dragged my body throughout the day. Work, meetings, running chores. My brain was wrapped by a dark fog.
Today I woke up, and although I was prone to feel the same way as yesterday, I decided that mourning, panicking, and crying will get me nowhere. For better or for worse, Trump is our President, and I just need to deal with it. He is not my ideal President, but he is my President after all. I will give him a chance, and I will pray for him that he would listen to the people and do a good job. But he should not be responsible for all the work. America is so great already, and it could be even greater if we simply come together. We all have our differences, but at the end of the day we are still brothers and sisters. I don’t agree with my sister on many aspects, but I still love her and wish her the best. I wish we would treat each other as siblings.
I’ve seen and heard a lot of boasting from Trump supporters, and a lot of unnecessary protesting from anti-Trump supporters. Please, please, please, think before you speak or act. Your actions and words do affect others.
To my Trump supporters friends. I still love you. We may disagree on many things, but I still love you. I understand you listened to your heart and made your decision, and even though I might not agree with it, I still need to accept it. But to those boasting, telling people to leave the country if they are unhappy, calling others sore losers, please think before you speak. You are happy. I get it. You are relieved and happy about the outcome, and you are entitled to that feeling, but know that someone else is feeling like trash. This is not a sport game, football, baseball, soccer… this affects our lives in so many different ways. People are feeling very strong emotions, ans might not know how to cope. Please be considerate and careful about the words you use.
We all have our stuff. We all have baggage. We all have our triggers. In the next following days, many of us will be overwhelmed by this outcome. Many will panic, just like I did. They will feel weak and worthless, just like I did. Please do not add to the fire with careless remarks. Instead of boasting, ask other how they feel. Give hugs. Make sure to check-in with your loved ones.
Again, we all have our triggers. Trump honestly pushes my triggers. As a sexual assault survivor, he scares the crap out of me. His remarks bring me to a very dark place. A place I thought I left a long time ago. A place where I feel frightened for my life, helpless, worthless. I feel shaken to my core. I am so frightened that I often paralyze. While I know that I have things I need to work on for myself and to overcome my fear, I also know that I do not feel represented by our elect-President. And I will deal with it. I will find a way to deal with it for the next four years. But please allow me the time and space to process this change. Allow others time to heal. Help us heal.
To my women, LGTBQ+, black, Hispanic, Latino, Muslim, Native American, immigrant, and disabled friends, I am so grateful for you and all that you have taught me. This is just another chapter, but it definitively is NOT the end. We have so much work to do. Get involved in your community. I know I should be more involved. Have open and safe conversations. Tell your story. Share the love!
And to those protesting and burning flags, please stop the madness. This is still our home. Respect it, do not destroy it! Channel your anger and disappointment into something productive. This is your chance to do something good. To create something great. I saw this picture on Facebook and taught it was spot on. Nahko Bear really has a talent with words.
To any of you reading this, I am here for you. We need to come together as a family. Family members do not always agree, but they look out for each other. Look out for me. I will look out for you. It’s time to heal.
Please feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment. How are you today? How can I help?